Boy (5 yrs) has on a puffy coat. He looks at Mom. He pulls in his arms with the zipper still intact. Turns the coat around. His zipper is now on his back and still together. His hoodie is at the bottom of his chin. He tucks his arms in again and rearranges his coat around and around. Again and again. Not frustrated, just entertaining himself.
Six kids all under 8 years old are seated around the dining table and are talking about how their Dads napped on the weekend.
"Who has a Dad that likes to nap?" I ask. All eight hands go up in the air.
"Who has a Dad that like to watch football?" asks a 5 yr-old. All hands go up in the air.
"Who has a Dad that watches football while he naps?" All hands shoot straight up accompanied by barrels of laughter.
"I don't get it. Why is it called 'kindergarten' when it is not a garden?"
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Career Decisions
After the chaos of graduate education, postdoc training, finding the
job, promotions to Director, babies, toddlerhood, I
find myself at a time when I can take a breath. There was a point in my life when I had to decide a music training or a
science education. Although it has been over 20 years since I made "
the" decision, I realize that it was never a decision I had to make in
saying farewell to music. It was a decision to somehow combine the two.
I say that because if you truly have a deep passion for something, it never goes away. I remember that even after some late nights in the lab, I would find the baby grand on campus somewhere and just play. Trust me, I know where to find these pianos on all of the campuses I have attended.
Even now, I find great joy in composing songs for my children's classes and personal milestones, teaching the art to our young generation; and after all these years, I have restarted my Royal Conservatory of Music training. I even attended a RCM Piano Teacher's Workshop and listened to a great master class taught by the Dean of Glenn Gould Music School. I am not sure if I will take the exams or pursue my music even more seriously. All I am sure of is that I am happy that I am still in it today.
I am happy I discovered the roads to scientific research and still maintained my musical creativity. I am not a professional concert pianist, nor am I a Nobel prize-winning scientist. I just feel lucky. Lucky I am having the chance to dabble in both. One of my biotech consulting leads actually came from my piano instructor. Funny. All this to say, maintain your interests, your passions, most people have two or three. With the pursuit of higher academia and building a family, many extra-curricular activities are likely to fall away. However, try to maintain those that help you unwind and appreciate...just being alive. You will love that you did.
I say that because if you truly have a deep passion for something, it never goes away. I remember that even after some late nights in the lab, I would find the baby grand on campus somewhere and just play. Trust me, I know where to find these pianos on all of the campuses I have attended.
Even now, I find great joy in composing songs for my children's classes and personal milestones, teaching the art to our young generation; and after all these years, I have restarted my Royal Conservatory of Music training. I even attended a RCM Piano Teacher's Workshop and listened to a great master class taught by the Dean of Glenn Gould Music School. I am not sure if I will take the exams or pursue my music even more seriously. All I am sure of is that I am happy that I am still in it today.
I am happy I discovered the roads to scientific research and still maintained my musical creativity. I am not a professional concert pianist, nor am I a Nobel prize-winning scientist. I just feel lucky. Lucky I am having the chance to dabble in both. One of my biotech consulting leads actually came from my piano instructor. Funny. All this to say, maintain your interests, your passions, most people have two or three. With the pursuit of higher academia and building a family, many extra-curricular activities are likely to fall away. However, try to maintain those that help you unwind and appreciate...just being alive. You will love that you did.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Moms Returning to Work
To all those moms who stayed full-time at home after the babies came and whose kids are gone from 9-11:30 and 12:30 - 3:30. I know you have thought about it. Should I try to find outside work now? What do I do? I have been out of the loop for years! Where do even start? And if I do return, how am I going to set up a system so the kids are walked to and back from school, sometimes for lunch, and helped until I return? It would be great to be back for 3 pm. Is there such a job?
I have noticed our neighbourhood has a rich source of intellect, compassion, multi-tasking super Moms. They are the untapped resource of quite the brain power. I know a few who would love to return to some sort of "work" outside the home, but are contemplating the direction.
I think that this is very similar to a career transition (see Career Transitions, Jan 2012). The transition year when your child is going from half day school to a full day (with lunch at school or home) is a tough one for both child and Mom. Moms feels like there should be more time; but the stresses of friendships, bullying, social issues, academic development can be overwhelming some days! Baby is no longer baby with physical needs, but a growing child with psychological needs. The latter is more difficult, I would say. Along with this child transition, Mom may find a need to return to her career. I know a few Moms trying this. Some are returning to supply teaching, with a relative on stand-by to transport her own kids to and back from school. Some are making their second career attending full or part-time in teacher's college with kids in daycare or with nanny. Some are taking classes. Some are volunteering with their favorite organization, such as their child's previous daycare, school or swimming club. Some are setting up their own web businesses. All these activities will lead to some type of "work" outside the home eventually.
As for my science career, I have maintained my interests by attending conferences, consulting biotech projects, speaking at career symposiums, mentoring science students, and trying to give back by writing my stories. I am not quite sure when I will return to the regular 9-5; but I know whatever the future holds, I feel privileged to have met these Moms these past few years.
For those science moms who have stayed home for a few years for children, please read the link for some inspiring stories. It is possible!
http://sciencecareers.sciencemag.org/career_magazine/previous_issues/articles/2009_10_30/caredit.a0900133
http://www.underthemicroscope.com/blog/tips-for-returning-to-science-after-time-away
Good luck, Moms!
I have noticed our neighbourhood has a rich source of intellect, compassion, multi-tasking super Moms. They are the untapped resource of quite the brain power. I know a few who would love to return to some sort of "work" outside the home, but are contemplating the direction.
I think that this is very similar to a career transition (see Career Transitions, Jan 2012). The transition year when your child is going from half day school to a full day (with lunch at school or home) is a tough one for both child and Mom. Moms feels like there should be more time; but the stresses of friendships, bullying, social issues, academic development can be overwhelming some days! Baby is no longer baby with physical needs, but a growing child with psychological needs. The latter is more difficult, I would say. Along with this child transition, Mom may find a need to return to her career. I know a few Moms trying this. Some are returning to supply teaching, with a relative on stand-by to transport her own kids to and back from school. Some are making their second career attending full or part-time in teacher's college with kids in daycare or with nanny. Some are taking classes. Some are volunteering with their favorite organization, such as their child's previous daycare, school or swimming club. Some are setting up their own web businesses. All these activities will lead to some type of "work" outside the home eventually.
As for my science career, I have maintained my interests by attending conferences, consulting biotech projects, speaking at career symposiums, mentoring science students, and trying to give back by writing my stories. I am not quite sure when I will return to the regular 9-5; but I know whatever the future holds, I feel privileged to have met these Moms these past few years.
For those science moms who have stayed home for a few years for children, please read the link for some inspiring stories. It is possible!
http://sciencecareers.sciencemag.org/career_magazine/previous_issues/articles/2009_10_30/caredit.a0900133
http://www.underthemicroscope.com/blog/tips-for-returning-to-science-after-time-away
Good luck, Moms!
Friday, February 3, 2012
"Integration" instead of "Balance"
Thanks to a colleague of mine, I now use the term "integration" of career and life instead of "balance." The term "balance" gave a connotation of barely maintaining the scales from tipping one way or another, almost an unachievable task. Hence, the term "integration." We weave a web of career, parenthood, community involvement, grandparent care, and other interests which are all connected together. One day, your child may be sick and your work does not receive enough attention. The next week, you may be at a conference and not see the kids at all. Even though it is merely a word, I feel more at ease with my life when using "integration."
Many moms that I speak to say the toughest question of all at this point in their lives is, "When do I find full-time outside work?" Some moms feel taking care of the well-being of 2 or 3 children is more that enough "work." Having said that, many would like to return to some career stimulation. A friend of mine says he loves to hire moms because they are so motivated, come in at 9 am, eat lunch for 20 minutes, leave at 3 and put in the most efficient time at the office. One mom re-entered the workforce while negotiating a contract for 9-3, PD days and holidays off, and a longer summer break. As some of my mom friends now have children entering full day school, their integration of life and work is slowly changing. Good luck to everybody!
Many moms that I speak to say the toughest question of all at this point in their lives is, "When do I find full-time outside work?" Some moms feel taking care of the well-being of 2 or 3 children is more that enough "work." Having said that, many would like to return to some career stimulation. A friend of mine says he loves to hire moms because they are so motivated, come in at 9 am, eat lunch for 20 minutes, leave at 3 and put in the most efficient time at the office. One mom re-entered the workforce while negotiating a contract for 9-3, PD days and holidays off, and a longer summer break. As some of my mom friends now have children entering full day school, their integration of life and work is slowly changing. Good luck to everybody!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Postdoctoral Feedback
My thoughts on postdoctoral "supervision" stem from the various experiences collected over the years, some are currently in academia. The postdoctoral experience for many is a time of excitement for new research but also a time for uncertainty, as the window to the "real" career is fast approaching. Some feel this is the time you should be committed to the lab all hours of the day and night, making those critical connections, giving those plenary session talks in lieu of your famous PI. It is also the time when most people are likely to have little children and a spouse. So, it is crucial that your hours in the lab away from family and in planning for the experiments are efficient and effective.
What is not mentioned with the lab environment or even your own PI is the feedback you should be receiving from your PI. As a postdoc, you should be an autonomous researcher. However, you do present your data in lab meetings and even if your PI is never in the lab, he/she does hear about your work. You may be publishing papers, reviewing grants, training grad students, presenting at conferences. What most postdocs do not hear or receive communication about is how they are doing in the lab with all of their work or their career development. You may attend career workshops and perhaps your job has already been lined up. However, just as a committee meeting or progress report helps out a grad student with their objectives and timelines, I think it is important to have a similar document for the postdoc with at least one other committee member.
I illustrate some real postdoc experiences below.
Postdoc 1 worked with a PI who was well known for her power publications. She worked long hours with a daily 25 minute commute to her home and husband. She had to keep looking at her watch if she left the lab for a meal break. I remember it was 7 pm one evening. She started an experiment to run and was leaving the lab to grab a bite to eat when her PI asked her "Where are you going?" When she explained she was hungry and was off to dinner, her PI gave her a "look" and shuffled away to her office. Intense. Since there really is no "check" system placed in the postdoc world, some people like my friend, feel "trapped" as they know the PI's recommendation letter may make or break the next career move. Several years later, this PI came under university investigation from several postdoc complaints.
Postdoc 2 also worked in high power lab, and he thought things were going well. He was reporting every week about his findings at his lab meetings. His supervisor did not express any negative comments. In fact, they had a jovial relationship. He thought he had found his niche in a specific area which he made collaborations with other departments and published several papers. Having said all this, he did not receive any career development guidance and one day in his third year, his PI asked for a private meeting. It was during this discussion that his PI talked about how he was not happy with his performance, and that he thought it was best for everyone if he left in 3 months. Postdoc 2 feels blindsided. "Since when?" he asks.
"Since the last quarter of year 1."
"How come you never told me?"
"I thought you would improve on your own."
"Well, if you never told me you were not happy, how am I supposed to know?"
In both of these instances, effective communication on both sides with an official progress and feedback system would have prevented all the headache for everyone involved. It was stories like these that inspired me to write a feedback form for the postdoc association. It was a one page document to be completed every 3-4 months with postdoc name, PI name and date. It included 1) experimental milestones achieved, 2) publication progress, 3) performance feedback for postdoc, 4) performance feedback for the PI, 5) career development, objectives review. The performance feedback would include questions like a) what did you appreciate about the performance of the postdoc (PI)? and b) what would like to see improved?
Having this type of progress report would provide written documentation to improve communications, enhance the postdoctoral experience, and improve the postdoctoral mentorship. Alongside the publications, the postdoc has a written record of the work that was accomplished, scientifically and otherwise. If issues do arise from this type of communication, a third party at the university (postdoctoral affairs) can step in to mediate a solution.
If you university or mentor has an official form like this, then awesome! However, most do not. It can be your first contribution to the lab. I am sure your new PI will have no issue with writing it up. You may space it out as you wish, but twice a year at the least sounds about right. It is always about two-way communication; and just like in a marriage, feedback for the postdoc-PI relationship is critical.
Resources:
http://www.nap.edu/catalog.php?record_id=9831
http://www.nationalpostdoc.org/
http://www.med.umich.edu/postdoc/postdochandbook.pdf (see p19)
What is not mentioned with the lab environment or even your own PI is the feedback you should be receiving from your PI. As a postdoc, you should be an autonomous researcher. However, you do present your data in lab meetings and even if your PI is never in the lab, he/she does hear about your work. You may be publishing papers, reviewing grants, training grad students, presenting at conferences. What most postdocs do not hear or receive communication about is how they are doing in the lab with all of their work or their career development. You may attend career workshops and perhaps your job has already been lined up. However, just as a committee meeting or progress report helps out a grad student with their objectives and timelines, I think it is important to have a similar document for the postdoc with at least one other committee member.
I illustrate some real postdoc experiences below.
Postdoc 1 worked with a PI who was well known for her power publications. She worked long hours with a daily 25 minute commute to her home and husband. She had to keep looking at her watch if she left the lab for a meal break. I remember it was 7 pm one evening. She started an experiment to run and was leaving the lab to grab a bite to eat when her PI asked her "Where are you going?" When she explained she was hungry and was off to dinner, her PI gave her a "look" and shuffled away to her office. Intense. Since there really is no "check" system placed in the postdoc world, some people like my friend, feel "trapped" as they know the PI's recommendation letter may make or break the next career move. Several years later, this PI came under university investigation from several postdoc complaints.
Postdoc 2 also worked in high power lab, and he thought things were going well. He was reporting every week about his findings at his lab meetings. His supervisor did not express any negative comments. In fact, they had a jovial relationship. He thought he had found his niche in a specific area which he made collaborations with other departments and published several papers. Having said all this, he did not receive any career development guidance and one day in his third year, his PI asked for a private meeting. It was during this discussion that his PI talked about how he was not happy with his performance, and that he thought it was best for everyone if he left in 3 months. Postdoc 2 feels blindsided. "Since when?" he asks.
"Since the last quarter of year 1."
"How come you never told me?"
"I thought you would improve on your own."
"Well, if you never told me you were not happy, how am I supposed to know?"
In both of these instances, effective communication on both sides with an official progress and feedback system would have prevented all the headache for everyone involved. It was stories like these that inspired me to write a feedback form for the postdoc association. It was a one page document to be completed every 3-4 months with postdoc name, PI name and date. It included 1) experimental milestones achieved, 2) publication progress, 3) performance feedback for postdoc, 4) performance feedback for the PI, 5) career development, objectives review. The performance feedback would include questions like a) what did you appreciate about the performance of the postdoc (PI)? and b) what would like to see improved?
Having this type of progress report would provide written documentation to improve communications, enhance the postdoctoral experience, and improve the postdoctoral mentorship. Alongside the publications, the postdoc has a written record of the work that was accomplished, scientifically and otherwise. If issues do arise from this type of communication, a third party at the university (postdoctoral affairs) can step in to mediate a solution.
If you university or mentor has an official form like this, then awesome! However, most do not. It can be your first contribution to the lab. I am sure your new PI will have no issue with writing it up. You may space it out as you wish, but twice a year at the least sounds about right. It is always about two-way communication; and just like in a marriage, feedback for the postdoc-PI relationship is critical.
Resources:
http://www.nap.edu/catalog.php?record_id=9831
http://www.nationalpostdoc.org/
http://www.med.umich.edu/postdoc/postdochandbook.pdf (see p19)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Career and Life Development
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
This is a question we have all heard since elementary school. Most younger kids say "Fireman, police officer, teacher, pet doctor, superhero, musician, artist, singer." As average kids reach their teens, their early views usually lead them towards medical doctor, teacher, lawyer, business person, perhaps scientist. I do not even think some undergraduates know all the departments available such as 1) Health Policy, Management and Evaluation (HPME,) 2) all the different types of engineering, 3) Curriculum, Teaching and Learning.
Then as students survive undergraduate education, the ones who opt for graduate school are swimming through yet another maze. Yes, they have chosen a field, but now the answer to "what do you want to be?" is not as clear. Perhaps you are the stellar, academia-prepared PhD candidate; and you already know which university you will hold a tenure-track position. However, the "average" PhD student, I think, is still trying to answer the age-old question.
Even after the acquisition of the great job opportunity, the scientist professional is always growing and changing "hats." A mentor of mine informed me to try something new every 5-6 years. Since by the 5-6 year mark, the brain needs to mix it up a bit. It might be the sabbatical, taking a new course, learning a new technology, learning a new field through your network. As academically inclined creatures, we are always reaching to expand our horizons. In what job occupation, with which partner and which lifestyle is all up to you.
I think as we grow older, the old question of "What do you want to be when you grow up?" undergoes a metamorphosis to "What kind of life would you like to have? What kind of job and family integration would you like to have?" The answers to these questions are very personalized and actually change as you and your family grow older together.
What do I want to be when I grow up? At this particular time in my life, I would hope to maintain the interweaving of my children, husband, extended family, career and music in my life. Perhaps as the kids grow older, I will focus on more work-related endeavors. Those endeavors will definitely be different from my past accomplishments. I feel as if I am swimming through a new maze; but I know that now, I have acquired the tools and mentors to guide me there.
This is a question we have all heard since elementary school. Most younger kids say "Fireman, police officer, teacher, pet doctor, superhero, musician, artist, singer." As average kids reach their teens, their early views usually lead them towards medical doctor, teacher, lawyer, business person, perhaps scientist. I do not even think some undergraduates know all the departments available such as 1) Health Policy, Management and Evaluation (HPME,) 2) all the different types of engineering, 3) Curriculum, Teaching and Learning.
Then as students survive undergraduate education, the ones who opt for graduate school are swimming through yet another maze. Yes, they have chosen a field, but now the answer to "what do you want to be?" is not as clear. Perhaps you are the stellar, academia-prepared PhD candidate; and you already know which university you will hold a tenure-track position. However, the "average" PhD student, I think, is still trying to answer the age-old question.
Even after the acquisition of the great job opportunity, the scientist professional is always growing and changing "hats." A mentor of mine informed me to try something new every 5-6 years. Since by the 5-6 year mark, the brain needs to mix it up a bit. It might be the sabbatical, taking a new course, learning a new technology, learning a new field through your network. As academically inclined creatures, we are always reaching to expand our horizons. In what job occupation, with which partner and which lifestyle is all up to you.
I think as we grow older, the old question of "What do you want to be when you grow up?" undergoes a metamorphosis to "What kind of life would you like to have? What kind of job and family integration would you like to have?" The answers to these questions are very personalized and actually change as you and your family grow older together.
What do I want to be when I grow up? At this particular time in my life, I would hope to maintain the interweaving of my children, husband, extended family, career and music in my life. Perhaps as the kids grow older, I will focus on more work-related endeavors. Those endeavors will definitely be different from my past accomplishments. I feel as if I am swimming through a new maze; but I know that now, I have acquired the tools and mentors to guide me there.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Other Secrets to Life: Feedback & Follow Up
During my training with the Dale Carnegie Sales and Marketing Course, my instructor gave me one piece of advice that stayed with me and helped me with everything. "You need to have feedback and followup."
He told me a story about his first marriage and relationship with his daughter.
"I just did not listen. I heard her words, but I did not ask for feedback on how I was doing as a husband. I think if I knew at that time what I know now, we would not have divorced. Now, I ask for feedback from my teenager. Every month we sit together with a piece of paper that has two columns - what I appreciated from your actions and what I did not like so much. She had written in the first column 'Dad, I love that you attend my soccer games.' In the second column, she wrote 'But would you please not shout out my name?' I had not known she felt uncomfortable with this. Now I knew, and I stopped. My relationship with her has been great since I started these feedback forms. It is one thing to say it; but when it is on paper, it is taken a bit more seriously."
As a parent, I think I will also be applying to my children soon, as they have become more skilled at communicating. As a graduate student and postdoc, it is essential to have this exchange with your advisor. Perhaps a form with "Great job with......" and "I would like you to help me with..." for both sides. This could be done every quarter so that progress and development is made on paper and kept as a record. Graduate students are usually afraid to write comments for their supervisor for fear of the recommendation letter; so as Bioch Grad Student Union Member, I handed out a form for everyone to write what they appreciated and needed more from a supervisor. I then compiled all the comments and sent it out to faculty, so they at least had a general, anonymous feedback. Publications alone do not make a postdoctoral and graduate experience. I also started this type of feedback form during my fellowship for the postdocs coming in after me.
When I worked in Biotech Sales and Marketing, follow-up was essential in making the deals, and feedback was essential in maintaining the relationship with clients. In a career transition, follow-up is critical in making the contacts, and feedback is essential in finding that transition a reality. As a scientist, follow-up is critical when you find a potential collaborator or industry lead. Feedback maintains the strong collaboration. These concepts all apply to any relationship that want you want to maintain, as a parent, spouse, friend, colleague.
Communications. I heard the other day that inventions are made tinkering in the lab, but innovations that affect the world are born by the coffee machine.
This is a great segue into the next entry of the importance of networking.
He told me a story about his first marriage and relationship with his daughter.
"I just did not listen. I heard her words, but I did not ask for feedback on how I was doing as a husband. I think if I knew at that time what I know now, we would not have divorced. Now, I ask for feedback from my teenager. Every month we sit together with a piece of paper that has two columns - what I appreciated from your actions and what I did not like so much. She had written in the first column 'Dad, I love that you attend my soccer games.' In the second column, she wrote 'But would you please not shout out my name?' I had not known she felt uncomfortable with this. Now I knew, and I stopped. My relationship with her has been great since I started these feedback forms. It is one thing to say it; but when it is on paper, it is taken a bit more seriously."
As a parent, I think I will also be applying to my children soon, as they have become more skilled at communicating. As a graduate student and postdoc, it is essential to have this exchange with your advisor. Perhaps a form with "Great job with......" and "I would like you to help me with..." for both sides. This could be done every quarter so that progress and development is made on paper and kept as a record. Graduate students are usually afraid to write comments for their supervisor for fear of the recommendation letter; so as Bioch Grad Student Union Member, I handed out a form for everyone to write what they appreciated and needed more from a supervisor. I then compiled all the comments and sent it out to faculty, so they at least had a general, anonymous feedback. Publications alone do not make a postdoctoral and graduate experience. I also started this type of feedback form during my fellowship for the postdocs coming in after me.
When I worked in Biotech Sales and Marketing, follow-up was essential in making the deals, and feedback was essential in maintaining the relationship with clients. In a career transition, follow-up is critical in making the contacts, and feedback is essential in finding that transition a reality. As a scientist, follow-up is critical when you find a potential collaborator or industry lead. Feedback maintains the strong collaboration. These concepts all apply to any relationship that want you want to maintain, as a parent, spouse, friend, colleague.
Communications. I heard the other day that inventions are made tinkering in the lab, but innovations that affect the world are born by the coffee machine.
This is a great segue into the next entry of the importance of networking.
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