Two of our children are 18 and older. One is in uni, another one is starting this Fall. The youngest is a teen. I love them all very much. During this adventure, I have realized something that I didn't see when they were younger.
If I live to 80-100, my daily mothering of them is just a short chapter in my life - perhaps 1/5-1/4 of it. Yes, I will always be there for them for as long as I live, but the daily parenting, driving them to places, packing lunches and when they were younger - changing diapers and all the baby business - all of that flurry of activity, disappears when they leave "the nest."
When I was in the middle of nursing and running after toddlers, I thought that this busy motherhood was my life from now on.
But - it is not.
It is just a short moment.
Gone in a a short 18+ years.
So mothers, and fathers, remember that.
They will leave the nest to fulfill their own dreams and find their own partners, which we want for them.
And in the meantime, do not forget about yourself.
Moms, do not forget about the woman you are - your passions, your hobbies, how you danced and sang songs. Do not forget about her - under the piles of laundry, dirty dishes, jeans and t-shirts. If she liked to get all dolled up and enjoyed a night out - then make time to do that. If she liked to play piano or guitar - make time for that. Even when the kids are young.
Dads, do not forget about the man you are - your passions, hobbies - how you danced to your favorite tunes. Do not forget about him - under the taxes, the oil changes, the hockey practices. If he liked to play a sport or write stories - make time for that.
Both of you, make solitude time for you. Make sure you keep you individual identity while maintaining the family identity. Do not forget about her. Do not forget about him. It is very important to do so.